Midlife Horses Book Trailer Video, Ready at Last!

If you haven’t already had a peek at our new book trailer video (a draft version went out as a post update because I’m tech challenged and didn’t check the box that kept it private while we were still doing final editing) click here to watch the FINAL version of the Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses book trailer.

During the month of October, we focused on dreams—our dreams of horses and how and why we’re choosing this time of life to make those dreams come true. So this book trailer (nicknamed “Dream”) talks about who we are, why we ride, what pursuing our dreams of horses in the middles of our lives really means to us, and how this book brings together valuable insights unique to having horses at this time of life, offers the observations of those who’ve ridden this trail ahead of us, and provides the resources most of us have been looking for to find the answers that are right for us.

Over the next few days (and in keeping with the official start of the holiday season), I’ll also be unveiling the final version of four shorter videos that detail what most of us agree are the most unique and compelling gifts we receive when we decide to add a horse to Part Two of our lives.

Want to watch a horse diagnose CEO disease?

by admin Book info News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses Women and Horses

Ok, this is just plain funny. If you remember that old Hans Christian Anderson fable, “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” (and I’ll just bet you do) . . . and if you’ve ever spent any time in or around a corporate setting, you’ve most likely seen firsthand the condition some business analysts call “CEO Disease.”

This is a rampant condition where no one in the workplace is willing, for fear of reprimand, political fallout, or worse, job loss, to confront an ineffective or counterproductive leader. Instead, they just follow along, doing their tasks as assigned, and at the same time, each doing his or her part in letting the company drift from its core purpose.

I have been fascinated in recent conversations with HerdWise CEO Kathy Taylor about how equine assisted learning can reveal the dynamics of work teams, uncover surprising blocks to productive relationships that hinder corporate leaders, and even demonstrate in an unforgettable way how different leadership styles are needed to meet the needs of the team and the objective of the task at hand. By mimicking the energy of a leader, horses mirror workplace dynamics in graphic, unforgettable and often, humorous ways.

But by far the funniest and most telling thing I ever saw was this video of a CEO “leading” his team in their effort to get Kathy’s therapy horse, Roxy, over a pole in the center of a pen. This is especially funny if you know that Roxy has no qualms about walking over that pole. It’s a task she often does easily and willingly. But she clearly sees though this guy and no amount of “leading” — or coaxing or cajoling (and I believe there might have even been a trail mix bar bribe involved) will get Roxy over that pole.

Watch also how his team follows him around and defers to his ineffective antics. One lady gives a half-hearted attempt to support his effort by trying to block Roxy from leaving, and she even tries to reinforce his instruction by pointing the way they want Roxy to go. This is clearly a work team accustomed to following its leader, even when what he’s doing is not accomplishing the team’s overall goal.

Thoughts, anyone? Humorous narration? Funniest narrative comment gets a free t-shirt!

Happy Trails!

Want to develop some mad core strength? Trot around for two hours on a snippy horse. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

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Just got back in from a two hour ride that turned into four — and grueling trot-a-thon on Trace and a bend-o-rama on Rio that has my core muscles quivering like Santa’s legendary bowlful of jello. You just never realize the need for well-developed core strength until you’ve trotted around in circles for two hours on a snippy horse, followed by another hour and a half on my passive aggressive sweetie pie that much prefers leaning to bending, whose cantering is more like a ride on Six Flags Over Texas’ Runnaway Mine Train than the slow, easy circles of my dreams.

Hobbling back to the cool comfort of my twirly desk chair, I just decided to go back and re-read Chapter Four, “Leg Up!” of my recently released book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses . When I was writing the book, I realized through countless conversations with other women like me that one of the biggest challenges to midlife horsemanship is getting and staying fit to ride. Not only does this kind of conditioning make sense for improving our overall health and wellbeing, but when it comes to riding and working with our horses, it is crucial to be strong enough to be effective, keep ourselves safe, have a good time, and above all, keep coming back for more!

And, perfectly timed with today’s epiphany, there was a nice reference to this chapter on Rebecca’s TSB Riding Adventures July 27 blog post, titled “The Working Rider’s Workout,” as she prepares for a Wyoming Ranch ride (Yee Haww, Becca! You go, girl! I just learned the other day that dressage is like crack–more on that later– and I can’t wait to see if Becca finds the same is true about chasing cows!) Let’s stay tuned to this one and see how it comes out!)

Any others of you out there have a neat destination ride planned this year? Let us hear from you! We love to be inspired — and sometimes, live vicariously. Also, look for my upcoming post on some great fall rides I just learned about from a new friend who has personally done them all and can give us some great inside information on a surprising “trail culture” cropping up out there for trail enthusiasts across the nation.

And, as for getting that “core of jello” I’m sporting these days a little more solidified so I can be more effective in future trot-a-thons and bend-o-ramas, stay tuned for more info and exercises as I go back this coming month and revisit (and actually consistently DO) all those great core building exercises I tucked into Chapter Four of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses. Anyone out there want to do them with me? Anybody up for a little spirited “core building competition?”

Let me hear from you!

Happy Trails!

Thanks, Dallas Morning News, for a fun interview and shoot! Look for the story in Our Town July 25!

by admin Book info News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses

It’s a darned good thing I didn’t know that was a Pulitzer winning photographer taking my picture this morning to go with Kathleen Green’s upcoming Dallas Morning News Article featuring The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses. THAT would have made me nervous. But quite to the contrary, our early morning photo shoot with crackerjack photographer Robert Hart was nothing but fun!

The horses behaved admirably, the blistering Texas heat had yet to fully wake up for another 100+ degree day day, and I’m not sure, but I think Robert got some photos he liked. (He said that when a photographer makes the “ooh oooh oooh” monkey noise, it’s a good thing. Did I mention he won a Pulitzer? Although I’m fairly camera shy and highly self-critical, I’m guardedly optimistic about this one.)

As one not accustomed to being on this side of the interview or camera, I’ll have to say it was a little weird at first. But, just like the Horse Radio Network “Horses in the Morning” radio interview last week, once I get started talking about The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses, all weirdness faded into my genuine enthusiasm for sharing this book.

You know the best thing about writing this book? Because it came from my own personal midlife horse quest — and because I built it to be a resource guide for readers to use as a springboard for finding their own answers, the ideas, connections, and useful information just keeps flowing my way!

That’s why I’m so glad we’re building this comunity — a gathering place where we can all pool our ideas, stories and experiences — and just generally bask in the fun and camaraderie the whole Midlife Horse experience can bring! (I’m looking into adding a virtual margarita machine . . .)

If you haven’t done it already, please visit (and “Like”!) our Facebook page and join the conversations growing there! Id love to hear from you any time something on this blog strikes a familiar chord — and, if you have pictures of you and your horse, advice to share, funny video, or favorite quotes, if you send ’em, I’ll post ’em! We’ve built an exciting social media hub that includes this blog, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, and Flickr.

Tell your friends! Come back often! Happy trails!

The magic of this midlife horse thing? On a good day, it feels like the look on a baby’s face when he tastes chocolate for the very first time.

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Meet Teresa, (pictured here with her midlife horse, Lladro). It was on a quiet morning ride, when Trace and I were the only other ones at the club, that we began to mimic, in follow-the-leader fashion (at a respectful distance on the far end of the arena, of course), Teresa and her beautiful and majestic Fresian through their daily dressage maneuvers.

070_70 — Here's Teresa and Lladro enjoying one of those "first chocolate" midlife horse moments . . .

We botched them all, of course, as neither of us knew what the hell we were even trying to do, but in the process (and in Teresa’s charitable kindness) a friendship was formed over our midlife horses.

As we rode along afterwards together (with Lladro casting a disdainful but tolerant eye toward Trace) it was our discussion of what our midlife horses mean to us that actually sparked the exploration that, three years later, became my soon to be released book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning , Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life.

004_4 — . . . and here, modeling the kind of “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” relationship we all hope for with our midlife horse!

Teresa was giving me the 411 about the Fort Worth Horseshoe Club where I had just moved Trace. “We have the cleaners — they come out every day and clean their stalls their buckets their feed bins. Their stalls are cleaner than my house. We have the groomers, they come out and shampoo, brush, apply hoof dressings and keep their horse looking like a million bucks. We have some that stay pretty much on the ground, others who take a lot of lessons, some ride just for fun and others are very serious competitors — or used to be. There really is something in this experience for everyone!”

“What do you think it is about horses that attract women at this time of life?” I asked in what would become the genesis of this book .

“You know the look a baby gets on his face the first time he tastes chocolate? That’s what a good horse day feels like — and that’s what keeps us coming back for more!”

quadrille — and then, living her midlife horse dream to its fullest expression, Teresa gives us all a vision that is nothing short of magical!

FULL COVER_Midlife Horses — The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer) - Order yours today at www.horseandriderbooks.com!

Today’s the Day!

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Midlife Horses_FRONT COVER_LORES — by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)

I woke up this morning the same way you do on any big day, in the foggy recollection that something exciting and long awaited was about to happen. This, friends, is the day my new book, The Smart Women’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Find Meaning Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life finally hits the streets. WooHoooooooo!

It’s been a long time coming, starting on the day I was riding with my friend Teresa (you’ll meet her and her horse, Lladro, in an upcoming post). I had just moved my horse to a wonderful place that was home to about 75 horses, and I couldn’t help but notice the number of women out there who were my age and older.

When I remarked on this she explained. “We have lots of women out here who just love being with their horses. Some are the cleaners— they come out and wash their horse, scrub their buckets, and their stalls are cleaner than most houses. We have the groomers. They brush, shampoo, condition, apply hoof dressing, and wash their horses’ faces. Some do groundwork — they walk with their horses, hand graze, round pen and lunge. Others of us ride, some just for fun and some working on learning new things, and a few serious ones who go to a show every weekend. We have all come to the place in our lives that our kids are grown, we have a little disposable income, and this is where we want to be. Some of us have husbands, some don’t; some husbands participate, some just come to the parties. But every day, or as often as we can, we come here for our ‘horse fix’.”

Then I remember asking the question — and getting the answer that started this book (even though I didn’t realize it at the time):

“What do you think it is about horses that make us want to have them at this time of life?” I asked.

She thought for a moment and then replied, “You know that look on a baby’s face when he tastes chocolate for the very first time?”

So here we are, some three years and many many miles (and lots of chocolate) later, with this beautiful book created for this special group of women.

Check it out (and place your order!) at www.horseandriderbooks and please let me hear from you! My goal was to create the book I was looking for when I came back to horses in the middle of my life. I was looking for more than “how to” . . . I was interested in doing things right, of course, and I wanted to learn how to find the experts I needed and to know what questions to ask, but beyond “how to,” I wanted to understand “why to” — and to make sense of it all in the context of my own life and experience and goals. I also wanted to hear from others like me—to learn from them, laugh with them and sometimes cry and complain with them. It is not an easy journey — and there is a lot to know and some of it is not pretty. But I’ll have to say it’s all been worth it. And just like that first taste of chocolate, an unexpected delight!

So if you’re a “woman of a certain age” (or not! All are certainly welcome — even the men out there just trying to understand this obsession), whether or not you have a horse, I invite you to join the community we’ve created around this book. Stop by as often as you can to join the fun, laughter, camaraderie and joy only midlife horses can bring. Find us on Facebook,Twitter, YouTube (please send your videos–even camera phone!– and I’ll post them!) and Flickr (send photos of you with your horse!). This is our free Midlife Horses support community — a place for us all to share what we’ve learned, commiserate, celebrate and, to the greatest extent possible, laugh our butts off in the pure joy only midlife horses can bring. I’ve built it — now, y’all come!

Some people wouldn’t spend as much on a saddle as on a new living room sofa. But as far as I know, an ill-fitting sofa never caused anyone to land in the middle of the living room floor.

by admin Book info News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses

In Chapter 9 of my new book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Find Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life, I make an unapologetic confession. I own three saddles. And while I love each and every one of them for very different reasons, none of them fit my horse.

As it turns out, there’s a whole lot to this saddle fitting thing — whether you ride English or Western, and I found a few experts to help me understand this complex issue — and I barely scratched the surface! As you follow my well-worn train of saddle frustration, you might as well learn from my mistakes, get ideas of where you might find the experts you need, and have a decent idea of what questions to ask and what kinds of things to look out for.

Folse10 — There's a lot to consider when choosing a saddle, and it's important to look at it from the horse's point of view first! (From Chapter 9, "Let's Get Tacky," The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses)

The bottom line? While it’s hard (and usually impossible!) to get horse experts to agree on anything, I did find a general consensus on this topic. When you’re trying to fit this “moving target,” there are three things to look for:

1. Your horse has to be comfortable and able to move freely without pain.

2. You need to be comfortable and well balanced in the saddle.

3. The saddle must be designed and suited to the purpose you intend to use it for.

When you’re saddle shopping, it’s easy to find a saddle that meets any one of these criteria, sometimes two. But girlfriends, take it from me and keep on shopping until you find one that meets all three. You may have to spend some money (and once you find the one you want, you might be able to find it used at any one of a bazillion online or in person resale sources.), but believe me, it will be worth it.

And, it may not be as cozy to watch TV in the evenings sitting on a saddle instead of that Pottery Barn sofa you’ve had your eye on, but at least you’ll have a secure seat when it really counts!

Come! Join the community that’s building around this book. Stop by as often as you can to join the fun, laughter, camaraderie and joy only midlife horses can bring. Find us here, on Facebook,Twitter, YouTube (please send your videos–even camera phone!– and I’ll post them!) and Flickr (send photos of you with your horse!). This is our free Midlife Horses support community — a place for us all to share what we’ve learned, commiserate, celebrate and, to the greatest extent possible, laugh our butts off in the pure joy only midlife horses can bring. I’ve built it — now, y’all come!

Today I put my husband’s shirt on my horse.

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: by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)

No, I’m not kidding. Following both Clinton Anderson’s advice to “get creative with your desensitizing tools” and the old cowboy trick of tying stuff on your saddle to “get the buck out,” I decided to see if I could help my jumpy, side-sensitive horse, Trace, work through his over-reactiveness to things touching his sides.

Now, here’s the kicker, if you’ll pardon the expression. Because Trace is so jumpy I’ve already done a tremendous amount of desensitizing with him from the ground. In fact, he expects nothing less from me. Using Clinton’s “Approach and Retreat” technique, I’ve jabbed, flapped, poked, slapped, rattled, and waved enough to make myself a laughing stock of my entire barn. And for the most part, it’s been worth it. However, when the strings hanging from the back of my favorite two saddles touch his sides, he STILL goes off like a rodeo bronc.

So this was my newest idea. Taking my cue from Clinton Anderson’s advice to “get creative with your desensitizing tools,” I chose my husbands long sleeved shirt to help desensitize my jumpy horse to things (like saddle strings) that tickle his sides and make him buck.

Trainer Denise Barrows was game to help me with this experiment, and as soon as I manage to get it posted, you can see how it “unfolded” on YouTube. You’ll see me working with him at first, then trainer Denise Barrows takes over to apply a little more experienced pressure. Notice how she increases pressure by pushing him, then releases the pressure by letting him take a rest, then starts again. Developing this kind of “feel” of when to increase and when to release pressure with horses is an art form, I’ve decided. (And I do think it also applies to teenagers.)

Seeing the shirt collar standing up against the back of the cantle, Denise remarked that it looked like the headless horseman was sliding down off Trace’s butt. (Clinton always says that the more you try to scare your horse, the calmer he will get . . . what could be scarier than this?)

The idea was to start small, with the shirt tightly rolled, doing basic groundwork and moving slowly into lunging, walk, trot and canter. We thought that as he became OK with it, we’d let more and more of the shirt hang out of the roll until the whole shirt was draped over his back end.

You know what they say about best laid plans. Trace had other ideas about how this exercise should “unfold,” and after two or three good kick-ups on the lunge line, the shirt somehow came unrolled on its own. I’m still not sure whose column gets the win for this one . . . watch the video and cast your vote! What was your most creative desensitizing tool?

Send me your “creative desensitizing” videos (camera phones welcome!) My favorite wins a free Saddle Up Your Midlife Horses! T-shirt!

To create your own trail map to find the resources you need, solid horsekeeping advice from the experts I found on my own journey, stories of all kinds of women and their horses finding what they need on the midlife trail, and plenty of ridiculous anecdotes just like this one from me, order your copy of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses today!

And once you read the book, be sure to check back here often. I’m in the process of creating a community just for those of us finding our midlife thrill on the back (or by the side) of a horse. Come! Join the fun, laughter, camaraderie and joy only midlife horses can bring. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube (please send your videos–even camera phone!– and I’ll post them!) and Flickr (send photos of you with your horse!). I’ve built this community for us all to share, commiserate, celebrate and, to the greatest extent possible, laugh our butts off in the pure joy only midlife horses can bring. Y’all come!

Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”

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Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”

Looking for motivation? Check. Sense of accomplishment? Check. Fitness? Check. Need to clear your mind and learn to “stay in the moment.” Yep, because if you don’t, you’re gonna be eating dirt. Horses don’t suffer cell phones. (Ask me how I know this.)

Got fear? They’ll find it. Got sadness? They’ll soothe it. Doubts, anxieties, insecurities? One by one they’ll shine the light of awareness on them and stand with you as these and other personal midlife bugaboos dissipate like smoke from a worn-out campfire. Need a good laugh? Oh, yeah. A good cry? Plenty of that, too.

These are just a few among the many programs you’ll discover when you tune in to the reality of midlife horses. In my soon-to-be released book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life (Trafalgar Square Books, 2011), we explore the cultural phenomenon of the nearly seven million American women now turning to horses to soothe and rejuvenate their midlife souls as they chart a new course into a future of their own choosing.

As the book, which its publisher classifies as a “tongue-in-cheek account that is a little bit memoir, a little more self-help, a whole lot practical guidebook, and all heart,” The Smart Women’s Guide to Midlife Horses examines: the whole midlife cornucopia of self-examination, why spending time with horses is especially helpful to women at this time, decision making when it comes to making this life altering journey, the challenge of finding time for a horse, getting fit for horsemanship, options for equine companionship beyond buying and boarding, things to do, places to go, how to find the help you need, how to find the resources you need to learn what you need to know, and much much more.

And beyond just a book (and its soon forthcoming e-book version), I’ve also created an online hub of information and sharing that includes this blog, a dedicated Facebook community, a YouTube channel to play host to our moments of triumph, flashes of insight, and maybe a little bit of just plain silliness, and even a spot on Flickr to go an view our favorite photos (you send ’em in and I’ll post ’em!) along with a caption that tells your midlife horse story. So here it is. Your official invitation to come be part of the Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses community, with all the discussions, debates, friendship, laughter, and camaraderie midlife horses can inspire.

We’re all in this together — and while this is a journey of each individual soul, it provides sustenance and encouragement to know there’s good company on this trail — and for what it’s worth, I’m here to help you connect with each other!

Pre-order your copy today of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life (Trafalgar Square Books, 2011) at www.horseandriderbooks.com (Click on the link, http://bit.ly/jqrt4s to download a sample chapter!)

They say 50 is the new 30. Really, marketers?

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They say 50 is the new 30. Really, marketers? And if that’s true, I ask you, did “they” (whoever “they” are) also re-designate our midlife birthday?

With all this “50 is the new 30” stuff flying around (and really annoying some of us), it has really set me to thinking. Last year, as I began work on my soon to be released book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife horses: Finding Meaning Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life, (Trafalgar Square Books, 2011), I wondered how you know when you’re at midlife. After a lot of research and mulling over this rather complicated topic, I have your answer.

It turns out that rather than a specific, measurable amount of firepower on your birthday cake, the exact threshold of this epic period of transition is really as individual as we are — and, because it is often triggered by certain life events, large and small, it seems to be different for everyone.

If you’re wondering whether you’re “there yet,” take my quiz and see if your “certain age” has arrived.

Have you recently:

1. Purchased your first pair of reading glasses? Then, finding your “number,” gone back to purchase them in bulk?

2. Plucked a dark and unruly chin hair? More than one? More frequently?

3. Waved goodbye to a child leaving for college?

4. Waved goodbye to a marriage that just couldn’t go the distance? (Flipped off a soon-to-be ex-husband leaving for his younger new girlfriend?)

5. Discovered that much of the knowledge you’ve spent your career accumulating is now obsolete?

6. Launched an adult child to true independence — a career and/or family of his/her own?

7. Witnessed the declining health of your parents? Watched them “downsizing” and realizing for the first time why.

8. Sorted through old photographs and memorabilia, wondering what happened to all those dreams, goals, plans, and things you always thought you’d do . . . “someday?”

9. Attempted to do something physically you used to do easily and found it strangely foreign and difficult?

10. Had to really think about it when someone asks how old you are, and found yourself stuck for an answer to long it’s been since you’ve done something that truly feeds your soul?

If you answered “yes” to more than a couple of these, my friend, there’s your wake-up call. Beyond any birthday that ends on “0” (or even “5”) “midlife” for our generation is more of a feeling than a number; and, if we’re clever, we can discover our own ways to use that feeling to postpone the next stage indefinitely. Like the cream filling in a Double Stuff Oreo or the intoxicating sugariness in the heart of a July watermelon, we are the first generation to realize that we can make the middles of our lives the very sweetest part.

How? Follow me. I’ll show you the trail I and millions of others are taking to bring Meaning, Magic and Mastery to the Second Half of Life.

The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life is scheduled for release on July 1, 2011, and is now available for preorder at www.horseandriderbooks.com.

Reserve your copy today!

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Tagged: Horse events

Midlife Horses Book Trailer Video, Ready at Last!

Want to watch a horse diagnose CEO disease?

Want to develop some mad core strength? Trot around for two hours on a snippy horse. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

Thanks, Dallas Morning News, for a fun interview and shoot! Look for the story in Our Town July 25!

The magic of this midlife horse thing? On a good day, it feels like the look on a baby’s face when he tastes chocolate for the very first time.

Today’s the Day!

Some people wouldn’t spend as much on a saddle as on a new living room sofa. But as far as I know, an ill-fitting sofa never caused anyone to land in the middle of the living room floor.

Today I put my husband’s shirt on my horse.

Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”

They say 50 is the new 30. Really, marketers?