“The horse is a mirror to your soul. Sometimes you might not like what you see. Sometimes you will.” Buck Brannaman


by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer) Order it now at www.horseandriderbooks.com!

What a profound statement from Dan “Buck” Brannaman in the riveting documentary, “Buck,” now showing in theaters everywhere (learn  more at www.buckthefilm.com) . Go see it and reply to this post with your favorite quote! Free “Saddle Up Your Midlife Horses” t-shirt to the first five who respond!

What is most interesting to me about this statement from this celebrated “horse whisperer” is that, in the midlife horse experience we often completely miss this gift of pure gold.  It’s so easy to blame the horse when things don’t go as we hoped in this relationship. We deny what our horse’s  behavior may be telling us about who we are on the inside. Or, paraphrasing Buck and before him, Ray Hunt, and before him, Tom Dorrance, “horse problems” almost always turn out to be horses with “people problems.”

That invaluable reflection from our ponies, girlfriends, is the essence of what we can learn from our midlife horses. And, whether we like it or want to admit it or not, you can’t fool them or change their opinion. Horses just call ’em as they see ’em . . . and it’s up to us to figure out what changes we need to make so we’ll like what they see in us!

What did my horse, Trace, tell me? (I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, but it does give context to my struggles, documented for all the world to see in my recent book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses.)  That I have an innate tendency to overthink, overachieve and overreact. That I am something of  a control freak and get upset when I can’t have my own way. That I am sensitive to others’ feelings and emotions, need a certain amount of sincere, positive feedback, and am happiest when I have a job to do or something new to learn. I don’t like being pushed around. There’s a certain amount of disrespect I’ll put up with from people if  I like them, but enough’s enough. And bullies bring out the  crazy in me.

Fortunately, my second horse, Rio,  shows me a sweeter, gentler reflection (if a little headstrong): I like to have fun, I’m sweet and committed (sometimes overcommitted) to doing the right thing, loyal as a dog, and my quirky personality gives me a knack for making people laugh — especially when things start to get too serious.


What does your midlife horse tell you? Don’t have a midlife horse, but wondering what’s going on in your inner landscape — and outward relationships? Get yourself one of these swishy-tailed mirrors and you won’t be wondering for long!

The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)

Join the fun, challenges, and camaraderie only Midlife Horses can bring! “Like” us on Facebook, Follow me on Twitter, and check out our community videos and photos (I built it — y’all come! If you send me your favorite midlife horses stories, photos and moments, I’ll post em!) on YouTube and Flickr.

Happy Trails!

Saddle Up! Your Midlife Horse is Waiting!


News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses Women and Horses


  1. Brenda Brunotte says:

    Hello, Melinda,
    I just ordered your book and can’t wait to get it! I happened upon this website because I was searching for a t-shirt to wear while I work on my goal to have my own horse. I am about to have my 56th birthday, and my childhood story is very similar to yours. My husband thinks I’m crazy, but I cannot be stopped! Do you have t-shirts that express the title of your book, or perhaps that have Rio’s picture on them?
    Thank you in advance for your book and for your inspiration.
    Brenda Brunotte

    • Hi Brenda!
      Thanks for checking in and congratulations on your decision to follow your dream! Yes, as a matter of fact, that’s exactly who’s become the “poster child” for this book — and I’m giving a free t-shirt away to the first 10 people who join our community either by commenting on posts or sending me their photos or videos! Just email me at mkfolse@gmail.com with your mailing address and t-shirt size, and your t-shirt will be on its way!

      Good luck to you on your midlife horse journey! Please stay in touch with any questions, comments or observations you have as you continue working toward this exciting goal!


  2. Brenda Brunotte says:

    Hello, Melinda,

    Thank you! I am looking forward to receiving the T-shirt, and I appreciate your kindness. I will stay in touch.


  3. Brenda says:

    Hi, Melinda

    I had some time to read over the holiday weekend, and I wanted to let you know that I think your book is wonderful! I am about half way through and have already learned more about horse ownership and the equine industry than I thought possible in such a short time. Thank you for educating me about making decisions concerning “midlife horses.” Your book is a huge help!


  4. Jennifer says:

    Horses are a mirror to our soul, sometimes we might not like what we see, sometimes we will! Great Movie! I’ve learned so much!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *