Waiting. Watching. Wonder. Here’s a surprising connection between the season of Advent and Midlife Horses. Merry Christmas, Y’all!

I’m not usually one to quote church sermons in this blog, but this one hit me right between the eyes. (Busted! Thinking about horses during church) . . . and it was one of those profound connections that came via Mr. Mark (a.k.a. Mark Burrows, and his Children’s First Service (at the First United Methodist Church of Fort Worth) that always, for me, hits the nail on the head better than anything else I hear. And this is my Christmas Post, after all, so here we go.

Mr. Mark’s message to the kids was about how people (adults!) during the holidays always rush around in a state of misplaced urgency — shopping, decorating, wrapping and baking,.etc. (Yes, I know that’s the only all this magical stuff happens, but stay with me here) He said that kids, on the other hand, get it. The whole season of advent is, by Design, supposed to be a time of waiting, watching and wonder of all the amazing, magical good things that unfold each holiday season. To kids, of course, a lot of this is about the gifts under the tree; as adults we also recognize the many other wondrous gifts that show up this time of year. We just have to learn to wait for them, watch for them, and when we see one, stop for a moment to appreciate its wonder.

Applying that to working with horses, I began to think about how sometimes we get a misplaced sense of urgency, working on this or that, measuring our progress with benchmarks — our incremental progress to whatever goals we have set for ourselves and our horses. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get so caught up in solving problems, going to the next level, and making the progress I deem important that I forget to just slow down, watch to see what unfolds, and just give in to the wonder of it all. Having these magnificent animals as companions and teachers at this stage of life is an opportunity for joy and enlightenment far beyond what I imagined when I began this journey.

So in this season of advent, I wish for all of you a moment of wonder as you look at your Midlife Horses, a celebration of wherever you are on your trail, and for the coming year, a continuation of the spirit of Advent that will keep us in a state of waiting, watching and wonder at all the delights this journey has to offer.

Merry Christmas, Y’all!

The hidden message in a Spam sandwich.

by admin Midlife News The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses Women and Horses

I know this is a little off the beaten path, but that’s where I sometimes wander. When my dad called me the other day to tell me he was sitting on his porch eating a Spam sandwich and thinking of me, I wasn’t sure at first this was a good thing. Then it got me to thinking about the simple pleasures that we of the Baby Boom generation used to take for granted that now have become retro delicacies. Like Spam® (the food group, not the email atrocity).

First of all, of course, I wondered why eating a Spam sandwich would make my father think of me. These “whole food” days, Spam is not generally thought of with the highest of regard. But on further reflection, I realized something that prompted this post. Spam (that lovely square pressed meat in a can that is purported to be “pure pork shoulder and ham”) was the ultimate comfort food of our generation. And the only “fast” food we knew of. It was simplicity at its best. It made its debut in 1937 and sold its billionth can in 2004. Not too shabby — and definitely doing something right.

On a cold rainy night, our mothers cubed it up and put in in a casserole that filled our tummies with the warm gooey goodness that made us feel safe and loved and well-fed. (This was of course before we realized it was also clogging our arteries and making us fat and probably shortening our lives with all the chemical preservatives that gave it its legendary shelf life. But our mothers didn’t know that. They were just doing what June Cleaver told them to do.)

And when we found a fried Spam sandwich (made, of course, with thin, pan-fried-to-a-crisp slices of Spam nestled between two slices of thick, soft, white bread slathered with cheap yellow mustard) on our Saturday lunch plate, adorned with Fritos and a real Coca Cola, we were just about two steps from Heaven’s front door. (Remembering those arteries, this could be literal). But like most of the rest of us, Spam has “come a long way, baby.” And still, it knows not to mess with success too much— its mothership Hormel above all knows the value of something that “is what it is.” Spam empowers us to say “YES!” to simple pleasures that may not be completely in vogue.

It seems like most of today’s world has lost touch with this “Spam simplicity” in its “have it your way” mentality (and often, obsession). We’ve gotten so used to driving through for the current generation’s version of “fast” food (probably just as bad for us, and really, not that much faster), ordering it by phone or online, or, even if we’re being diet conscious, going to a lot more trouble and expense for a result that doesn’t bring us nearly as much joy as that Spam sandwich of yore, that we’ve missed the point.

Spam taught us to slow down, slice off a little sliver of something we really enjoy, then sit and savor its flavorful goodness. These simple kinds of pleasures are STILL all around us – and still there for the asking. As a culture, we may well have outgrown Spam (but I don’t think so . . . try it again with an open mind. Slice it thin and fry it crisp and tell me it’s not pretty stinkin’ good), but there are other things in all our lives that get this job done, if only we allow ourselves to stop and make time and space for them.

What I’m talking now, of course, is the time we spend time with our horses. (You didn’t really think I wouldn’t end up back in the barn, now did you? ) It’s so easy to get caught up in chasing our goals and dreams with our horses (or solving problems and finding solutions and learning new stuff) that we forget to savor the simple delights that called us to this experience in the first place.

So I challenge you: when it comes to your horse time, what is your Spam sandwich? What simple thing in this Midlife Horses experience brings you the unspeakable comfort and joy that makes you stop and ponder the goodness of it all — where you’ve been and where you are now? Post your reply as a comment here, on our Facebook Page, or retweet your response when you see this headline pop up on my Twitter feed.Or share of video of your Spam moment on our YouTube channel. I can’t wait to hear about your Spam sandwich revelations!

Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”

by admin News The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses

Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”

Looking for motivation? Check. Sense of accomplishment? Check. Fitness? Check. Need to clear your mind and learn to “stay in the moment.” Yep, because if you don’t, you’re gonna be eating dirt. Horses don’t suffer cell phones. (Ask me how I know this.)

Got fear? They’ll find it. Got sadness? They’ll soothe it. Doubts, anxieties, insecurities? One by one they’ll shine the light of awareness on them and stand with you as these and other personal midlife bugaboos dissipate like smoke from a worn-out campfire. Need a good laugh? Oh, yeah. A good cry? Plenty of that, too.

These are just a few among the many programs you’ll discover when you tune in to the reality of midlife horses. In my soon-to-be released book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life (Trafalgar Square Books, 2011), we explore the cultural phenomenon of the nearly seven million American women now turning to horses to soothe and rejuvenate their midlife souls as they chart a new course into a future of their own choosing.

As the book, which its publisher classifies as a “tongue-in-cheek account that is a little bit memoir, a little more self-help, a whole lot practical guidebook, and all heart,” The Smart Women’s Guide to Midlife Horses examines: the whole midlife cornucopia of self-examination, why spending time with horses is especially helpful to women at this time, decision making when it comes to making this life altering journey, the challenge of finding time for a horse, getting fit for horsemanship, options for equine companionship beyond buying and boarding, things to do, places to go, how to find the help you need, how to find the resources you need to learn what you need to know, and much much more.

And beyond just a book (and its soon forthcoming e-book version), I’ve also created an online hub of information and sharing that includes this blog, a dedicated Facebook community, a YouTube channel to play host to our moments of triumph, flashes of insight, and maybe a little bit of just plain silliness, and even a spot on Flickr to go an view our favorite photos (you send ’em in and I’ll post ’em!) along with a caption that tells your midlife horse story. So here it is. Your official invitation to come be part of the Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses community, with all the discussions, debates, friendship, laughter, and camaraderie midlife horses can inspire.

We’re all in this together — and while this is a journey of each individual soul, it provides sustenance and encouragement to know there’s good company on this trail — and for what it’s worth, I’m here to help you connect with each other!

FULL COVER_Midlife Horses — by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)

Pre-order your copy today of The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses: Finding Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life (Trafalgar Square Books, 2011) at www.horseandriderbooks.com (Click on the link, http://bit.ly/jqrt4s to download a sample chapter!)

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Tagged: joy

Waiting. Watching. Wonder. Here’s a surprising connection between the season of Advent and Midlife Horses. Merry Christmas, Y’all!

The hidden message in a Spam sandwich.

Hooked on Reality TV? Midlife Horses are the ultimate “reality channel.”