“The horse is a mirror to your soul. Sometimes you might not like what you see. Sometimes you will.” Buck Brannaman

News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses Women and Horses


by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer) Order it now at www.horseandriderbooks.com!

What a profound statement from Dan “Buck” Brannaman in the riveting documentary, “Buck,” now showing in theaters everywhere (learn  more at www.buckthefilm.com) . Go see it and reply to this post with your favorite quote! Free “Saddle Up Your Midlife Horses” t-shirt to the first five who respond!

What is most interesting to me about this statement from this celebrated “horse whisperer” is that, in the midlife horse experience we often completely miss this gift of pure gold.  It’s so easy to blame the horse when things don’t go as we hoped in this relationship. We deny what our horse’s  behavior may be telling us about who we are on the inside. Or, paraphrasing Buck and before him, Ray Hunt, and before him, Tom Dorrance, “horse problems” almost always turn out to be horses with “people problems.”

That invaluable reflection from our ponies, girlfriends, is the essence of what we can learn from our midlife horses. And, whether we like it or want to admit it or not, you can’t fool them or change their opinion. Horses just call ’em as they see ’em . . . and it’s up to us to figure out what changes we need to make so we’ll like what they see in us!

What did my horse, Trace, tell me? (I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, but it does give context to my struggles, documented for all the world to see in my recent book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses.)  That I have an innate tendency to overthink, overachieve and overreact. That I am something of  a control freak and get upset when I can’t have my own way. That I am sensitive to others’ feelings and emotions, need a certain amount of sincere, positive feedback, and am happiest when I have a job to do or something new to learn. I don’t like being pushed around. There’s a certain amount of disrespect I’ll put up with from people if  I like them, but enough’s enough. And bullies bring out the  crazy in me.

Fortunately, my second horse, Rio,  shows me a sweeter, gentler reflection (if a little headstrong): I like to have fun, I’m sweet and committed (sometimes overcommitted) to doing the right thing, loyal as a dog, and my quirky personality gives me a knack for making people laugh — especially when things start to get too serious.


What does your midlife horse tell you? Don’t have a midlife horse, but wondering what’s going on in your inner landscape — and outward relationships? Get yourself one of these swishy-tailed mirrors and you won’t be wondering for long!

The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)

Join the fun, challenges, and camaraderie only Midlife Horses can bring! “Like” us on Facebook, Follow me on Twitter, and check out our community videos and photos (I built it — y’all come! If you send me your favorite midlife horses stories, photos and moments, I’ll post em!) on YouTube and Flickr.

Happy Trails!

Saddle Up! Your Midlife Horse is Waiting!


How many new tricks can a middle aged dog learn?

Book info Midlife News Projects The Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife Horses Women and Horses
by Melinda Folse (formerly Melinda Folse Kaitcer)


It’s my nature to push the envelope. But this time, if you’ll pardon the mixed metaphor, I’ve jumped into the deep end of the ocean using only the aforementioned envelope as a flotation device. Can somebody out there throw me a line?


In anticipation of the July 1  launch of my new book, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses, I’m trying to build an online community around the same concepts and ideas that evolved into this book. In addition to this blog, you can access this interconnected hub of information viaFacebook, YouTube, and Flickr.My goal is to create a virtual gathering place for those of us enjoying our midlife horses — a sweet spot of sharing, commiserating, celebrating, swapping advice  and resources — generally the kind of barn chatter that invites the whole world to join our circle.

The catch? I don’t really know how to do any of this. I’m a writer. I dabble in photography. I’m impressed with the reach and opportunity of all this gee whiz technology and social media. I have the world’s best intentions. So here we go. With this lofty goal in mind and Trafalgar Square’s encouragement (and maybe a little occasional prodding) I embark on a new odyssey to see if I can get all the way around the learning curve by the time this book hits the streets. Wish me luck. And bravery. And patience with my self and others. And easy access to good enough take-out that my family doesn’t mutiny. In this bottomless box of chocolates, you really never DO know what you’re gonna get.

With the aforementioned luck, I’ll be setting it all up and adding content to this blog, Facebook, YouTube, and Flickr  to share various moments in my midlife horse journey (some are pretty embarrassing, I’ll have to say), and the photos and stories of the people I’ve met and interviewed in the process of developing this book. All this editing and uploading and tagging is going to probably take me a while, however, so please check back often to see how I’m doing! (feedback and notes of encouragement or advice welcome!!)

This is just to prime the pump, however. What I really want is for you to send me your stories, pictures, videos (camera phones welcome!) and insights. For this to become the gathering place I envisioned, everyone sharing their input and experiences here will give us a place to continue our  learning,  find the encouragement we need, encourage each other, brag on our accomplishments, laugh at ourselves (and maybe a little at each other, because we’ve all been there), and  keep feeding the special kind of joy only midlife horses can bring.

And, hey (or as our horses would say, “HAY!!!”), we’re all in this together! So once a week or so,  let’s meet for a virtual “happy hour” (grab a glass of wine or other beverage of choice and  kick back and check in with this specially created  online community all our own! Join the fun, the discussions, the debates, the laughter and camaraderis only midlife horses can inspire.  While the journey we take with our midlife horses is a journey of each individual soul, it’s nice to know there’s good company on this trail — and for what it’s worth, I’m here to help you connect with each other!


Happy Trails!!

Saddle Up! Your Midlife Horse is Waiting!